OCD, Anti-Psychotic, Depression, Ritalin and Cocaine?
Question by John S: OCD, Anti-psychotic, Depression, Ritalin and Cocaine?
Well this is a 15 year history, I’ll try to be as as brief and concise as I can. Currently I’m 28, when I was 17 graduating from high school I started to have OCD related issues. Also, since primary school I had lot’s of attention and execution problems -mainly in the logical-matematical area- and was diagnosed years later with passive ADD. I may add that I come from a destroyed family, father not loving my mom, strict father, lots of fear to him, a brave mother dealing with this.
Enough of background history. The thing is that when my OCD started, my life was a living hell. Although I consulted with various doctors and tried medications, during 18-23 year period I was paralized by OCD. My OCD manifested as fears of HIV infection through ridiculous ways, ideas that I was contaminated and could infect and kill my mom. Added to this, when I was just turned 18 my grandmother, suffer a stroke that let her to bed and special care during this last years, until just 8 days ago when she passed away. I was very close to her, and I always, til her last day alive where there for here even in my worst OCD and depression symptoms. Then, on December of that same year (2000) my mother was diagnosed with colon cancer and had to be operated immediately. Luckily for her she survived the cancer, but, as many doctors agree, OCD even when medicated, as I’m know since 6 years ago, under stressful situations will aggravate. During that time, when I thought my mother was going to die, I felt responsible and guilty. I went crazy. Even when with my OCD out of control, I tried to achive a professional degree, but because my ADD and the issues previously narrated, I failed. I didn’t sit and cry, and made technical courses in IT wich is my passion, and worked through various call centers.
The question is this. Added to all those issues, I have no luck in personal relationships, I consider my self a good man, but since I’m not good looking, fat and not popular, even though I try my best to be a good friend and lover, I only had one real girlfriend, and when we formalized in ’06, which by the way I consider my best year, I was the happiest man alive. A woman who loved me and who I loved deeply, good friends, party and good job. But after that year the relationship started to deteriorate because she demanded me things that for me are difficult and stressful to achieve (like a better job with a managerial position, a degree, more money) and then she became disappointed of me. She met a guy in a new job and fell in love with him and left me (the relationship was 2.5 years and the last years we lived together with wedding plans) I even purchased an apartment that I currently hate, to try to convince here to stay, but she left. Since then I started a deep depression, stopped working out, smoking more, eating and gaining more wait. I tried to be strong and date other girls, but I just have no luck. All girls that i meet humiliate me, cheat on me, or just go out with me for money.
Even though I was medicated with Prozac and mild anti-psychotic for my OCD, i was deeply depressed. One day, my Dr. put me on Ritalin and it worked magic for my mood. The problem is that ritalin effects last just a few hours, but well It helped me out to overcome depression and be functional. The thing is that for a period of various months Ritalin supplies where non existent in my country, so I recurred to cocaine to achieve that boost in mood. But even though, as with ritalin or cocaine, most of the time i feel deeply depressed. On december past year I tried to suiced with an overdose of medication, alcohol and cocaine. Then, I purchased .38 revolver to kill myself, but I started to think about the pain I can cause to my parents. So I decided to get rid of it, but just for them, sacrifice my desperation and wishes of death for them.
Recently, 8 days ago, my grandma died. This made me even more depressed and start to think about a lot of things. At this moment my depression is over 200% but I need to stay strong for my parents. The only thing that makes me get out of bed and be functional is ritalin and cocaine, but i think i’m becoming an addict. I don’t care about my health or consequences, because since the last two years after my ex-gf left me I just want to die. But my grandmothers death made me realize the pain my mom and dad could suffer if I die.
My question is, what can I do to keep on, without drugs, for my parents. It’s just for them, I don’t see or want anymore future and happiness in my personal life. I just don’t want to be selfish and cause pain to my mom and dad, who are very loving and special with me. But as far it concerns for me, my only wish is to kill my self, with a pistol, to destroy this sick brain and gross face. I really hate my self, I feel I’m trash, I even wish that in case I kill my self, instead of a funeral people throw me in the deepest and filthiest place , like a gutter, because that’s where I think I belong, tras
Best answer:
Answer by Minister
Did you know-psychiatrists have the largest crime rate? They have the highest rate of commiting rape, murder, assault, fraud, drug dealing and so on of all the medical professions. You can do some reading online and see all the fraud and non proven claims about drugs too. Some docs even get grants of millions from drug companies. That’s not fair research. Prozac is shown no better than a placebo lately.
Psychiatrists claim that a person needs a drug to combat their chemical imbalance in the brain which is causing a persons mental disorder. However, the concept that a brain-based, chemical imbalance underlies mental illness is false. While popularized by heavy public marketing, it is simply psychiatric wishful thinking. As with all of psychiatric disease models, it has been thoroughly discredited by researchers.
Diabetes is a biochemical imbalance. However, as Harvard psychiatrist Joseph Glenmullen states, the definitive test and biochemical imbalance is a high blood sugar balance level. Treatment in severe cases is insulin injections, which restore sugar balance. The symptoms clear and retest shows the blood sugar is normal. Psychiatrists do not draw blood to determine the presence of a biochemical imbalance in patients.
Bad past/putdowns,rejection/father gone lets other things start. Anorexia, cutting, OCD, anxiety, panic attacks, hearing voices, psychic dreams can all come from a tramautic past and verbal abuse. Its opens doors to the negative and they start to dwell closeby. They have problems not you. Its the hurting mean people that have caused your sadness. You are just reacting to it and having emotions. God allows emotions and docs try to cover it up.
Mens counseling is folly to Gods ways.
1. Read “Emotional abuse” websites see how people think. Read about 40.
2. Google “Deliverance Prayers”- stops sadness.
3. Google “Sinners Prayers”- makes a path to God
4. Google sites about “Bullying”.
5. Diet and Depression sites. God wants you to know the truth.
I’m seeing people cured on an ongoing basis without meds. Ignore what people tell you on here especially top contributors with no email or chat.
What do you think? Answer below!
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